Flash Fiction - Barbie and Me

I was so pleased and honoured that this story – a flash fiction – was shortlisted for the 2017 Tarbert Book Festival / Moniak Mhor short story competition (Oct. 27, 2017). It didn't win (that honour went to Sylvia Hehir, from Strontian), but it was a good challenge. The prize was a tuition-free writing workshop week at Moniak Mhor, something I have been dreaming of for ages; I'll just have to pay one year soon.

The competition was of an open theme, including memoire, and limited to 500 words - a tough but enjoyable challenge.

~

Barbie and Me by Mike R. Hunter

“I never had a Barbie,” she said without turning to me as the television extolled the iconic girl-toy – Safari Barbie or Sorority Barbie or something.

I knew they were cash-poor as kids, but I didn’t know she was deprived.

I should have known, of course. She is smart, strong, independent – tough, even. No nonsense. No conforming to gendered stereotypes, a good lover and a good mother. And very real. Decidedly non-Barbie. Not that playing with dolls absolutely reinforces gender expectations. That’s an oversimplification.

Feminism warned us about gendered toys like Barbie, and of Mattel’s unrealistic vision of the North American ideal female form. Of course, we can’t intelligently attribute femininity to a doll any more than playing with action figures (dolls for boys) and toy guns, causes men and women to pursue military and paramilitary careers, or become murderers. Playing with dolls does not a doll make.

I get that. I really do. Clearly, I know the difference. Hurrah for pink Lego, and lavender tool belts. But, things had seemed strained of late – not sure why – and I was anxious to demonstrate that I do listen.

Finding the right Barbie became my mission for the year – her fiftieth, our twentieth. That mission: to satisfy her childhood unfulfilled; to show that I do listen sometimes; to show my romantic side, my insight, my thoughtfulness, my male sensitivity.

Of course, not just any Barbie would do. She had to be a special-occasion Barbie. Unique, elegant, independent, limited-edition Barbie. Not Ironing-board Barbie, but Executive Barbie, if she (it?) could be found. And it’s not easy to find a Barbie doll these days, as though a great shame is associated with what she/it represents.

Worse, this masculine feminism I pride myself with is a double-edged sword that cut deeply while trying to retain my dignity shopping for a Barbie doll. But I heard, and I acted.

Shop after shop, clerk after clerk, a trail of lesser-than dolls in my wake, the pledge became a problem. It got closer to Christmas and I didn’t have any other gift ideas. I became anxious about possible failure.

But, just days before the implementation of Plan B – and there was no Plan B – there she was: Ballroom Barbie. She/it was even dressed in a rich green ball gown that matched the heavy brocade drapes that darkened our home. I think.

As it turned out, instead of looking for Independent Barbie, I should have been looking for Ironic Barbie. Same she/it in a different wrapper.

Christmas morning, my heart beating smugly, the large professionally wrapped gift radiating beneath the burden of my romantic side, the unveiling finally arrived.

“You said you never had a Barbie!” I blurted out prematurely in excitement and pride.

“Because I never wanted a f***ing Barbie,” she pronounced. “You never listen!”

I can still picture her, Ballroom Barbie. Nose-down in the bin, right next to the broken sword of dignity beneath the brittle tinsel of our last Christmas.

=30=

Rant – Second Thoughts, Pathways and Healthways

Rant – Second Thoughts, Pathways and Healthways

October 2017

Is there such a word? Healthways?

We study folkways and foodways, why not healthways?



Uisge Ban Falls, among the highest in Nova Scotia

A few hours on the Uisge Ban Falls Provincial Park trail (near Baddeck, NS) recently left us with mixed emotions.

On one hand – OMG, another great walk we never tire of, and so many people, and of all ages! So many children! Out of roughly forty people encountered between the parking lot and the falls, we guess that half were under the age of ten – and in families of two and three children (yay! that there are breeders among us). And let me tell you, aside from the Skyline Trail (CB Highlands National Park) and the Louisbourg Lighthouse Trail (Fortress of Louisbourg National Historic Site), encountering many people on a trail – even in a banner tourist year like 2017 – is rare. More often than not, we are by ourselves.



When the boys were younger, we dubbed this section of trail as "The Giant's Garden." Here it's almost like the trees fear the boulders will float away.



I call this one Rapunzel.

So many young couples (and a few grandparents) had their children out and about – climbing over rocks, across streams, through mud, throwing sticks, falling down. I wonder if there is truth to the old saw that the families who play together, stay together?

Imagine. Children. Out in nature. Please, please, please, let those parents keep at it for the sake of their family’s future health. You know, Plato’s ideal republic (flawed though some have analyzed or perhaps overanalyzed it) included an education system predicated on physical activity in the early years. I forget the numbers just now, but the upshot is that for the first eleven years education would be devoted only to play, to games and sports.

By this, citizens would build up such a store of health that they would not be a burden on society in their later years. We might extend this beyond games and physical health to environmental health, but that’s another rant.

Given the dollars the health industry is going to suck out of our taxes over the next couple of decades because of health problems that could have been avoided, you’d think we’d be doing everything in our power to “build up a store of health” in young people so the current health debacle is not repeated.

I know it is a sort of Catch 22 situation – the health industry eats up nearly half our tax dollars so there is little left for true health infrastructure (not to be confused with what governments mistakenly call a health care system). Which brings me to my second thoughts while enjoying the walk to Uisge Ban Falls: the bridges are out and the greater portion of the trail is closed.

Now, in fairness it is not easy to deploy resources at a moment’s notice to effect repairs to infrastructure damaged in catastrophic weather events like the October 2016 torrential rains that devastated both built and natural infrastructure across the region. A phone call to NS Dept. of Natural Resources at Baddeck (Victoria County) reveals that a Dept. engineer will assess the Uisge Ban Falls Provincial Park trail situation this fall, with recommendations shortly thereafter and, hopefully, repairs in the spring of 2018. Given the number of years that the North River Provincial Park trail has been in disrepair, we might be suspicious, but I take from my call that traffic to Uisge Ban Falls is such that they have the will to maintain it. The North River trail is a bit different, I was informed that in fact the North River trail is the purview of the Environment Dept. because it falls within a protected area. We need to apply more pressure to ensure that the North River trail gets reopened, and maintained.

In addition, trails built with government monies in partnership with community groups are severely dilapidated or even closed for lack of attention. The once beautiful and still closed Cape Auguet Eco-Trail near Boudreauville on Isle Madame is an example. A severe storm surge about ten years ago ripped up a substantial boardwalk plus smaller ones making the trail partially unusable and impossible for the faint of heart. My understanding is that the trail is officially closed (though people do use some of it) and ownership by its original proponents and managers – Development Isle Madame – have made a request to NS Dept. of Natural Resources (DNR) to terminate their lease. Rumour has it that a well-known writer of hiking guides nearly injured himself while navigating the trail a few years ago, and complained loudly to the municipality, complete with an ominous warning about potential for lawsuits. The trail was promptly closed.

We can forgive the volunteers who build trails like Cape Auguet across the province, but we cannot let government off the hook as easily; the former take their lead from the latter. If no positive example is set, no enthusiasm displayed, why would the citizenry stay committed or motivated?

In recent weeks we have also hiked portions of the Cape Mabou Highland 

View from the ascent to Beinn Bhiorach, Cape Mabou Highlands.

trail system and found it to be recently groomed and well signed. The system was developed by and is maintained by volunteers, with the cooperation of DNR as it includes some conservation and preservation acreage. (BTW, the Mabou Highlands trails are among the most demanding and the most rewarding in the region. You really must try them.) And, again in fairness to DNR, we also recently hiked the Salt Mountain trail at the Whycocomagh Provincial Park and found it to be in really good shape and recently re-signed. Current management practices at the campground notwithstanding.

We need to regard trails – and campgrounds, and picnic parks – as part of the provincial and municipal infrastructure just as much as roads, and hospitals. Perhaps they ought to be considered part of our health infrastructure so we take them seriously.

Study, after study, after study conclude that exposure to the outdoors, to nature – to activities which connect us with nature – benefit our physical and mental wellbeing, to the benefit of society (that’s us, remember us taxpayers?) so that in our higher-earning and our later years we are “not a burden on society.”

There must be ways to sustain, maintain, improve and expand our physical health infrastructure – we need to step up and insist on it for the sake of the health of future generations. How can we collaborate with governments to work toward this end?

∞