Musitorial – Squirrels, Sticks, Spirits

 

Musitorial, noun, a mashup of musics, musings and editorials: music and song that evoke thought and commentary.

Everyone knows the surefire way to distract your dog when it’s being naughty or annoying is to yell, SQUIRREL! Even an old dog can be tricked in this way, it’s nearly foolproof. Just point the dog in a different direction. It sometimes works for a surprisingly long time. Throwing a stick works well too.

With apologies to respected Political Science teachers and students, I sometimes suspect that distraction tactics (spirits) are part of the core curriculum in advanced public service political science wannabe programmes. They have reworked that old social science maxim to read, ‘alcohol is the opiate of the masses.’[1]

For hundreds of years, alcohol has been the opiate of choice for politicians vying for public support and for a seat at the public trough. I’m by no means a teetotaller and, from time to time have erred on the side of “just one more,” but shouldn’t the price of beer and the nationality of distilled grains and grapes chosen by sophisticates be the least of our worries these days? As attractive as the idea of “a dollar a beer” sounded to Ontario voters <link below>, a dollar a litre for milk seems much more important to the big picture as opposed to the big pitcher, right?

With all due respect and apologies to the folks who rely on suds for their income and their jobs, therefore their family’s wellbeing, the price and availability of spirits should be pretty low on a list of personal priorities. If you want a shot or a pint you pay for it; if you need milk for the kids or to do some baking, you pay for it. Which is more important?

I have no idea how much fresh water is needed per litre of spirits, but I do know how much milk is needed per week in the life of a child in its growing years: a lot. Likewise, eggs flour and raw vegetables, etc. And I know that water is life itself. Shouldn’t that be our focus for affordability? There are other similar distractions I often contemplate, such as agriculture (writ large) and energy.

To speak of alcohol again for moment, I note (with a measure of dismay) that recent research (the kind that many of us hide from our spouses), says two drinks a week is plenty, in order to avoid health risks. TWO!

If that’s the case, what is the point of our political obsession with booze? As a measure of our disdain for unfavourable U.S. trade policies, most Canadians jurisdictions took U.S. brands of spirits off government-licensed shelves. I think a majority of Canadians supported (and continue to support) that demonstration of Canadian sovereignty, but really, who cares? As the matter seems so very important to the U.S., conceding this point just might be the sort of gesture that balances the scales a bit.

We should, however, stand firm on dairy products. In fact, subsidize Canadian dairy products the same way Premier Ford wants to subsidize beer. Who’s for ‘a dollar a litre’ for milk?

This is not to say I’m sick & tired of the debates, and I do pledge to keep up the fight, but The Beatles get the nod for today’s musical selection: “I’m So Tired” (Lennon-McCartney, The Beatles, 1968, George Martin prod., Apple).

        I'm so tired, I haven't slept a wink

        I'm so tired, my mind is on the blink

        I wonder, should I get up

        And fix myself a drink?

        No, no, no

 

Enjoy!

 

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Link to news article from 2016 campaign of now-Premier Doug Ford. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/aug/08/doug-ford-beer-ontario-canada

Link to The Nature of Things, CBC Docs article “The new science of alcohol,” by Laura Tennant (Aug 13, 2026) on alcohol consumption guidelines: https://tinyurl.com/yftzh535

Link to Geniius.com for the lyrics to “I’m So Tired” by The Beatles, including a ‘play’ link: https://genius.com/The-beatles-im-so-tired-lyrics

Link to Wikipedia article on “I’m So Tired,” by The Beatles: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I'm_So_Tired

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[1] Originally Karl Marx’s "religion is the opium of the people" (opium des volkes), 1844, usually quoted as ‘religion is the opiate of the masses.’ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opium_of_the_people

Musitorial - “Yer our boys”

musitorial noun, a mashup of musics, musings and editorials: music and song that evokes thought and commentary.

Hunter Biden, if you can believe it, wins my prize for “balls of the year” for his recent social media post (if you can believe it) recommending the Nobel Peace Prize for Republican President Donald J. Trump (DJT). The post makes it clear that DJT has now managed to stop 38 wars, a truly remarkable feat, though in truth we’ve all lost count.

’Course, it’s the same war. According to Biden, DJT had ended the war on Iran no less than 38 times (at time of writing, for that number is increasing almost daily), more than any other President, demonstrating that he (DJT) is not only worthy of the Nobel but, at the very least, of an entry in Guinness World Records for 2026.

Speaking of awards, I am pleased to announce that I plan to nominate Republican department of offences Secretary of War, Pete Hegseth for this year’s Darwin Award.[1]

I’m paraphrasing here, but since 1992 the Darwins have annually been awarded to a person or organization that exemplify a lack of understanding of the ways of the world, society and its evolution.

Like many evolution deniers, award recipients often refuse to accept that some ways of knowing and being are widely accepted by evolving human sciences.

After carefree consideration, Musitorial editors (me) have elected to nominate Hegseth in recognition of his uneducated and antisocial views of what it takes to be a man, to be a soldier, sworn to uphold the U.S. Constitution and to defend the American people from oppressors. Demonstrating contempt for both, this man recently decreed that only biological males having acceptable levels of testosterone are suited for armed services.

I was reminded of an observation made by a high school friend that men like Secretary Hegseth believe that girls have long hair and boys play basketball. Full stop.

In my uneducated (I flunked out of high school) but avowed human view – and this is supported by social science – the most vociferous voices to reverse social change are from people most threatened by it (“it” being “change”), even if the change is for the betterment of humankind.

USA Republican president Trump stated unequivocally at his inaugural ‘look at me, I’m the king of the world’ speech that in the United States there are only two genders, male and female. Secretary Hegseth’s world assumes that men have testosterone and make babies, and women have hormones and carry babies. No doubt “gender” is a foreign  concept in that world unless you mean sex, but social science accepts that there are innumerable genders, no matter what the sex.

Even if one doesn’t really understand or “get it” (meaning understand it, not get sex), it doesn’t take testosterone to make today’s soldier. Yes, it takes balls, but not testes to be a brave, reliable (and pliable) soldier.

It’s no coincidence that current warfare engagement is via drones, for armies have always been about drones. Male drones. Mindless creatures whose sole purpose is to do battle at the behest of a higher order. Okay, maybe that’s over the top; national defence readiness has long been an accepted part of defending nations.

Of today’s musitorial, you may be expecting me to refer to “YMCA” by the Village People (Cruisin’, 1978, prod.    Jacques Morali, Casablanca), cited by many as a gay male anthem, but I’m not.

Instead, I’m recommending a clip from Arlo Guthrie’s timeless classic film, Alice’s Restaurant Massacree (1968, dir. Arthur Penn, United Artists) links to which are provided below. Enjoy!

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Link to the Darwin Awards landing page: https://darwinawards.com/

Link to The Hill report about Hunter Biden’s post: https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5951873-hunter-biden-trump-nobel-peace/

Link to Wikipedia entry on Alice’s Restaurant Massacree (1968, dir. Arthur Penn, United Artists): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alice's_Restaurant_(film)

Link to YouTube video of Alice’s Restaurant recruitment scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0a6iWHSWbA

Link to an Acıbadem International Group article on gender: https://acibademinternational.com/health-library/how-many-genders-are-there-here-is-what-the-evidence-says/

Link to Wikipedia entry on The Village People and “YMCA” (from the album Cruisin’, 1978, Casablanca): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Y.M.C.A._(song).

Link to YouTube video of the song, “YMCA” (from the album Cruisin’, 1978, Casablanca): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS9OO0S5w2k

 

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[1] “The Darwin Awards honor those who tip chlorine into our gene pool, by accidentally removing their own DNA from it during the spectacular climax of a 'great idea' gone veddy, veddy wrong” (https://darwinawards.com).

 

Musitorial – The Five Ws: who wears what, when and why.

musitorial noun, a mashup of musics, musings and editorials: music and song that evokes thought and commentary.

So, I’m stuck. I have no idea what’s “in” these days. I do know that almost nothing is “out,” but what’s considered “in”? What’s “camp” as they used to say.

I’m asking this so I can better prepare myself for July 15. What’s significant about July 15, you ask? It’s Camp Day, that’s what – Camp Day at Tims. The posters are everywhere!

I’m a frequent client and would like to have my own Camp Day T-shirt, and I think that if I can dress camp for the day – wear something really cool, really camp – maybe, just maybe I can get my own Camp Day 2026 T-shirt.

All kidding aside, July 15, 2026, is Tims Camp Day. “When you buy a hot or iced coffee, you’re helping youth from underserved communities access life-changing experiences with Tims Camps. […] Tim Hortons® Foundation Camps is a non-profit charitable organization…. [O]ver 50 years, Tims Camps has been a leader in youth development programming…. Through experiences both at camp and in the classroom, youth build resilience, leadership, and responsibility, empowering them to thrive in school, work, and life. Across North America, Tims Camps has provided life-changing experiences to nearly 350,000 youth—at no cost to them or their families. This is made possible through the generosity of Tim Hortons Restaurant Owners, guests, corporate sponsors, donors, and community partners” and me too! (Link below for more information.

Today’s musitorial celebrates summer camp. "Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh! (A Letter from Camp)" written by Allan Sherman and Lou Busch, 1963, Warner Bros. Records, Jimmy Hilliard, prod.

Enjoy! Especially if summer camp was or is part of your family’s shared history.

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Link to Tim Hortons for more information about Camp Day: https://timscamps.com/about-tims-camps/)

Link to Wikipedia entry on the song, “Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh” : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hello_Muddah,_Hello_Fadduh_(A_Letter_from_Camp)

Link to Wikipedia entry on Allan Sherman: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allan_Sherman