(A little cod tongue & cheek)
The Codcast
News and Views from The Landing
The following is a transcription (#230403) of an interview between Sterling Macaulay, of Sterling Enterprises, and Tom E. Cod, of the Codcast. Link here for more on The Codcast and on Sterling Enterprises, or find “Stories From The Landing” on Facebook.
Host: Tom E. Cod
Transcription services: Typecast Ink
No Internet? No Cellphone? No Problem
Tom Cod (TC) : Even mistakes have rewards, as The Landing’s genius entrepreneur, Sterling Macaulay, recently found out. Macaulay has struck gold yet again with his patented concept of “Roborepo.” He sold the patent for Roborepo, and all further rights, to Ford Motor Corporation for an undisclosed sum.
Sterling Macaulay (SM) [smiling] : Let’s just say it’s a “tidy sum.”
[TC] : What is it, exactly? Why would a huge company like Ford be so interested in your latest brainstorm?
[SM] : It’s funny how some ideas are born. Just like babies, ideas come into the world all innocent-like and, like sponges, they absorb information as they grow.
[Laughing] We know where babies come from, but we don’t really know where they’re going, do we?
[TC] : I guess, like babies, we absorb all kinds of trivial information and experiences that get mixed together and then who knows what comes of it all. I get that. But one time when I wanted to patent my ideas for built-in vacuum cleaners, no one wanted to listen, let alone buy it. But that’s another story. You seem to have the magic touch.
[SM] : It’s not magic, of course, just perseverance. You have to jump on an idea and ride it out. Like broncs, sometimes you get tired and get thrown off the horse; other times you hang on until the buzzer sounds.
[TC] : Obviously the buzzer sounds for you more often than for others.
[SM] : Time waits for no one, Tommy. You have to go for it before the time expires.
[TC] : Do you think ideas expire?
[SM] : Everything has a best-before date.
[pause]
[TC] : You’ve got that far away look in your eye Sterling. What are you up to?
[SM] : Anyway, you know how everybody says that things don’t last anymore? Like appliances. Washers, driers, fridges, stoves—
[TC] : Yes! And they all seem to go at the same time!
[SM] : Well, that might be my fault, though it didn’t start out that way. A few years ago, I thought up an idea for programmable expiry dates. Where a dealer could actually set the best-before date of almost anything. That way, it wouldn’t really matter when the thing was sold, its warranty period started that day.
[TC] : Naturally. The thing only gets used when it’s starting up.
[SM] : That’s the way it used to be, but sellers always tried to argue their way out of it. So I thought that if you could program the date of expiry into the unit, we could eliminate the problem for everyone. See?
[TC] : But you seem to be hinting that there’s something wrong with that?
[SM] : Nothing wrong with the intention. But what happened when I gave the idea to a big appliance manufacturer – and this was not my idea, I assure you – was they could alter the date. Warranty could run out just before a problem occurred. When predictable failure came….
[TC] : And with that, predictable expiry. I get it. It doesn’t matter how well or poorly something is made—
[SM] : Right. Breakdowns only occur AFTER the warranty expires. In fact, between you and me—
[TC] : And our audience.
[SM] : And your audience – they can program when it will break down, thus creating a continuous chain of sales. And mark my words, it’s a growing trend. You know those programmable shelf price tags at the big grocery stores? That was my idea too, but the idea was to save on printing costs, not to enable them to change the price any time they wanted.
[TC] : You’re kidding.
[SM] : Don’t say I didn’t warn you. In the end, I am not responsible, to be sure, but it makes me look bad. I made the mistake of telling someone about the ideas and before I knew it the inventions were in stores and that guy was in Bermuda.
[TC] : Okay, but how does this relate to Ford?
[SM] : You mean Roborepo? Well, that’s another story with a happier outcome. For me.
[TC] : Macaulay’s Roborepo sprang from a rambling conversation around the campfire about cars and the various experiences the conversants have had with them, and especially with the many so-called advanced technologies a fellow has to learn just to drive to the store, let alone to the campground on weekends.
[SM] : It’s crazy, isn’t it? Who can remember all that stuff – what this or that beep or bell wants you to do? And self-driving cars? Whose bright idea was that? The only reason the car has a human is to go into the store for it – and to pump gas into it, and who knows how long that’ll be needed? Not mush different than being married. [Quietly] I promised never to reveal who said that.
Anyway, one of the guys was having trouble dodging the repo man. The lease was up on his F-350, and he couldn’t scrape together the downpayment on a new lease. Between you and me, I think that was because of his new boat.
[TC] : Been there. Done that.
[SM] : Anyway, someone said it was a good thing that guy didn’t have a self-driving car ’cause it might drive itself back to the dealer. And bingo-bongo! – Roborepo was born. Don’t keep up your payments? The car returns itself to the dealer.
[TC] : Of course, you didn’t want to be the one responsible for any of your friends losing their trucks – thank you for that – so you very quietly patented the idea and promptly sold it to Ford?
[SM] : Yep. Of course, people weren’t long catching on and finding ways to try to outsmart Roborepo too. In fact, for a brief time, rental of truck-sized storage units increased; but there was too much damage to the units as the trucks tried to get themselves out on their own.
[TC] : By storage you mean Serling Self Storage. Very convenient for you.
[SM] : Until they started getting damaged. I might have to have invisible electronic garage doors on the units – IF I can come up with a way to avoid power failures. Anyway, it’s Ford’s now.
[TC] : Ha! We’ll be watching for that one for sure. So, what’s next for Sterling Macaulay? What are the nuisances – big or small – hounding Nova Scotians these days? What do you foresee and can forestall?
[SM] : Patient transfer.
[silence]
[TC] : Excuse me?
[SM] : And self-driving ambulances. Anything to do with hospitals and health businesses. That’s the future, obviously.
[TC] : It’s not that obvious, to me at least.
[SM] : It’s not fully thought out yet, but with the shortages of workers and advances in auto-tom-neus cars and trucks, if sick people can get themselves to the hospital, things would be that much better.
[TC] : You mean—
[SM] : I’ve said too much already. The idea’s not fully developed yet.
[TC] : Or patented.
[SM] : Or patented.
[TC] : Well then, let’s leave it there for now. But I hope you’ll share the news when you’re ready?
[SM] : Are you winking at me?
[TC] : That’s all the time we have today, folks. Tune in to hear or read the next episode of The Codcast: News and Views from The Landing.
=30=
Editorial note: The Roborecall episode is inspired by a news story about Ford’s very real plans to repossess cars from delinquent lessees. You can find that article here; the original article is in German:
https://www.br.de/nachrichten/netzwelt/raten-nicht-bezahlt-dann-faehrt-der-ford-bald-allein-weg